Confidence and Dating Post Lockdown

By @natalieferrigno

 

 Dating was an odd time if you were single during the pandemic. Meeting new people was impossible and while dating apps have become the new norm, the nature of communication means it can take a while to build momentum and invariably at some point someone will lose interest. If it did develop beyond messaging, then we had video calls, but it can be hard to build a rapport on facetime, and let’s face it, who felt their best sat at home in their sweats? It’s hardly the same as getting ready for that big first date. The only dates we could manage were socially distanced ones and meeting in the park 2 metres apart was hardly a recipe for intimacy and sexual chemistry. But we are finally at a point where restaurants dates and meeting up face to face is back on the cards.

 

You may have taken a dating sabbatical during this strange time, and if you are ready to embrace dating again here’s some tips to get back in the saddle and do it with renewed confidence.

If you are using dating apps, take some time to research which ones right for you, there are many to choose from these days with a plethora of different options. Find one that resonates most with you and build a profile that’s honest, says what you want and use a natural picture of you smiling - photos with sunglasses on, large friendships groups (which one will I be dating?) and men holding a fish don’t tend to be successful profile pictures.

 

Take some time to put in the work on yourself and be filled with self-confidence before you meet anyone. Our mental health may have taken a bit of a battering in lockdown, and if you haven’t dated in a while, it can feel a bit daunting. Remember your worth, say some positive affirmations to yourself and think about what you can bring to a relationship. Writing down a list of your qualities and talents can really help to affirm things to yourself.

 

Once you’ve arranged a date give yourself plenty of time to get ready. If you have children get the babysitter to arrive to give you time to get ready not for when you leave, that way you won’t be going out the door stressed and rushed.

When you feel good you look good, so make the effort to wear clothes that are comfortable but you feel confident in (nothing more distracting when you are out than pants riding up your behind or a belt digging in your waistline) and don’t underestimate smelling good – there’s plenty of research to suggest that scent is linked to sexual attraction; so be shower fresh and put your favorite perfume or aftershave on.

 

Once you are on the date just remember that even if you are nervous just be yourself. Even the most confident people get nervous in some situations, be it a social or professional situation they often just fake it until they make it. Get comfortable with being uncomfortable and the more you date, the easier it will become.

 

Lastly you may not feel like dating at all and that’s equally ok.  There’s lots of joy in single life and no pressure to be with anyone just to say you have someone. Often the strongest relationships come from a period of being alone.  These are the people who’ve taken the time to find out what they really want and date from a perspective of wanting someone in their life, not because they need them to feel complete. Best of luck!